This post is probably a little bit depressing, but I'm in that kind of mood today, so with that in mind, read on...
I've just in the last few days sent a job application in, that I've since realised could have been better.
It's also made me realize something about my personality, in that I've always wished I was one of those quick-witted people who can just pull a one-liner out of thin air, or always apply themselves when they need to.
I have the ability to realise just after someone's said something, what I could have said, usually long enough after the conversation to not warrant saying it, as the opportunity has gone. Usually the reply I think about afterwards in my head is brilliant, witty and has just enough sassy to sound great, but by then the moment has gone!
After sending my application in, a friend reviewed it, and he gave me some feedback, and I knew what he was going to say before he said it. His constructive criticism was bang on. I knew it, so why didn't I do it?!
It's the kind of frustration I live with in my own head, always feeling smack bang in the middle of things, not quite dumb, but not super intelligent either, not quite on the left, but not quite on the right either; not, not, not...
I'm not where I feel I should be as regards my aspirations, personally or career-wise. In terms of life, I feel stuck, and I'm not quite sure how to get out of where I am. I feel sometimes like I'm just one big advert for apathy.
I guess there's nothing really to be done at the moment other than get my head down and work at things, but I do feel tired. Tired of the way things are, and wanting things to change.
That's living in hope I guess!
No comments:
Post a Comment