X Factor 2010... I'm thinking of doing the unthinkable...

In the spirit of true musicianship, I'm seriously considering voting for Wagner in the X factor final if he gets there...

I think Matt and Rebecca are outstanding, but am really fed up of the nonsense that the panel of judges come out with each week. Is it just me or is it blindingly obvious that they're playing off each other in their comments and don't mean a word of what they say most of the time?

I'm not naive, I realise it's a show and it's all about ratings, but... seriously?

I think it would be fantastic if Wagner won and Simon had to give him a record deal... 

I'm REALLY tempted! 

Here's Hoping...

I'm off to see Skyline tomorrow, I'm hoping that it's good, though I've heard a few comments from people who've seen it already saying that it's not that great...

We'll see!

Inconsistent Morality...

Well, I haven't written for quite a while so I thought I'd start up again...

Meg and I went to the Cinema tonight to see 'Due Date', starring Robert Downey, Jnr and Zach Galifianakis among others. Parts of the film were very funny, as it explores the (non) relationship between the two main characters on a long road trip from Atlanta to L.A. Robert Downey plays an expectant father (Peter), trying to get home to L.A. for the birth of his first child, while Zach Galifianakis (of 'The Hangover' fame) plays the eccentric loner (Ethan), who inadvertently becomes Downey's saviour and road-trip partner. Lot's of hilarity ensues in varying levels and situations of political in-correctness, and both the characters reveal deeper parts of themselves along the way.


The one thing I've gotta confess is this:


I found it funny, up to a certain scene, then my humour gland dried up because of that scene, then it came back again a little later.


I found myself, not for the first time in a major Hollywood release, actually being offended by the content of this scene, which I thought was totally inappropriate. Yes, I get that they are portraying Ethan as a weird, socially awkward loner, the guy who everybody avoids as soon as he opens his mouth, I get that they put scenes in the film that you laugh at and then wonder if you should be laughing at, a bit like 'Four Lions' did for terrorism; I get all that. I even mostly ignored the language because it made some of the scenes funnier, just like the language in Grand Torrino made the scenes more poignant and caught the humorous reality (sometimes) of playful language used in a racist sense. Im not really a prude when it comes to stuff like that, mostly I filter out the bad and take the scene for what it is and what it's saying.... But this particular scene?


I don't really want to describe it, other than it was very much in the style of the 'American Pie' series of films, a sexual context but made very obvioius and in a way that grosses you out.


As I said, I'm no prude, but this scene in the film grossed me and Meg out, both of us thought it was totally unnecessary, It wasn't that you saw anything explicit; ironically, as the best films do, (though definitely not in this case)  what was 'suggested' to you as the viewer by sound effects, etc, was just pure gross.


It was the same kind of disturbed feeling I got when I attempted to watch '300', that adrenaline fuelled, testosterone-filled guys film based on the epic tale of 300 Spartan warriors against the might of King Xerxes. Surprisingly, the violence in it didn't bother me, as I felt it was in accordance with the plot and scope of the film; it was a film about ancient war after all, and the brutality of it was showing the realism. What disturbed me personally about 300, (to the point, where I didn't actually finish watching it!), was the scene where the crippled, rejected Spartan turns traitor and enters the court of Xerxes to sell his fellow Spartans out. The court was depicted in such a twisted, sexual way that I found myself switching it off. Not, actually, because secretly I liked it and it brought out base feelings in me, but simply because I instantly felt disturbed by the images I saw, and simply didn't want to watch it; almost as if I heard a whisper in my own conscience saying 'don't watch it'. 


I remember being disturbed then, and it was that same level of 'disturbed-ness' (if that's a word?) that happened tonight.  Like I said, I'm not a prude and no doubt I've watched some scenes in other genres (such as horror), that would intensely disturb others. Part of my level of unease, I think about Due Date and this particular scene, was that I just didn't expect it in this film, that is generally one to have a good laugh in, an 'emotive comedy' of sorts. Although there was quite a bit of language, I didn't expect such a suggested explicit scene carried off as comedy to be laughed at.


Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, maybe there is a bit of the prudish about me. I just didn't want to be confronted with that when watching a film for entertainment with my wife...


All in all, it was a funny film, but it just really did not need that scene...


What do people think? Is the genre of film free to show any and every shocking thing for the sake of expression and reality, even in a comedy, or are there some things that we really don't need to 'see', or think about??    

Interesting...

What's the difference between Openness, Honesty and Integrity?

Can you have one without the other?

I've been thinking about this today after news of this.

The report clears Prof Phil Jones of any deceit and praises the department of UEA's Climate Change, but says that openness was not shown, while praising prof jones' 'integrity and honesty'...

In the words of a Canadian: Eh?

We#ll see what happens, what do you think?

A Week In...

Well, it's official, I've been unemployed for a week. I had my 'jobseekers interview' yesterday and signed my 'agreement', and I sign on the dole for the first time on Friday, then every two weeks after.

It kinda stinks.

I'm still working through a lot of my disappointment at the moment of how events conspired around me, and have reached the conclusion I'm expressing it in irritability at home, which is not really a great thing to do. As soon as I found out the fixed term contract wasn't going to be renewed,  (a month before!) I started looking for work, joining all sorts of online job places: monster, reed, jobsite, etc, and started posting CV's and all the other gubbins you do in a time of desperation.

I must have applied through those sites for at least 7 jobs a day for a month, and had rejection after rejection, and no response. Having had my 'interview' yesterday, apparently it's because my CV is (and I quote!) 'very good but waaaay too long'. Oh well, I've got it down to two pages now and re-posted it.

Today will be a mixture of applying for more jobs, ringing the Jobseekers line to see if there are any I missed, visiting the Jobcentre machines too look for more, going to Asda to get kitten milk, and generally tidying. These days, life is just plain boring. I'm considering whether I want to put myself up for a 'work trial' soon if I don't get anything. It basically means an employer gets to try you out for free... It might be worth it, but I've no idea what type of job I could be put with.

On the visa front, Meg's Application for her ILR went in, and we got a letter from the Home Office saying 'don't contact us, it may take a while, only contact us if it's been more than six months'!

Great.

So it looks like it's gonna be a long road for now until we find out whether they're going to give my wife Indefinite Leave to Remain status. Part of the problem could be that the form asked for 6 documents, (6??!) to prove as evidence that you're married and living together over the last 2 years, so i said 'forget that' and sent at least 30 documents, including bank statements, bills with our address and names on, tax stuff, passports etc all over the last two years. I decided I didn't want them coming back to us after 2 months and asking for more documents...

We'll see whether that was a mistake in due course I guess...

Basically life is ok, but a bit dreary at the moment, and I have no idea what I'm going to do career-wise.

Oh well.

The (nearly) Last Hurrah

Well, life is throwing me a curve ball at the moment, to steal a phrase my wife would be familiar with...

As of 1st July, I will be no longer training as a Baptist Minister, as my 'ministerial formation' (sounds painful doesn't it!! :p) will be put on 'hold' for a year or two.

Before anypone panics, I've not done anything silly, or been involved in any kind of scandal, it's simply down to lack of funding (my placement church) and some personal issues, which I'm not going to go into detail on here. Needless to say, I'm a little bit gutted and fearful and excited about the future, all expressing itself in a horrible nauseous feeling of 'aaarrggghhh what am I doing!!!'

My placement church weren't planning to take me on for another year, and therefore didn't budget for it, so were taken aback a bit when I asked to stay! They very graciously said whilst they couldn't 'employ' me officially, they could give me a small amount each month. I deliberated on this for a while, but through other curcumstances (again that I don't particularly feel the need to mention on here) I decided that this wasn't the best option.

The College/Baptist Union have offered me the option of taking a 'break' from studying/formation/training for up to two years for personal circumstances, as they call it, with no negative reflection on me. I've decided to take this option, and so the frantic search for a job begins...

To further complicate matters, my wife (who is an american citizen) is applying for the final part of her visa, her Indefinite Leave to Remain, which we're putting in the application for on June 10th. It's a bit stressful, but as she's been living here and we've been married for nearly two years now, I'm hoping there's not gonna be a problem. We've already saved up the (gulp!) £840 the government want for it, and it's just a case of producing the right documents to prove we still live together and are still married to each other.

So, the future's a bit uncertain at the moment, but I'm getting used to that lately. If I think back to before I was married, the time since then has been filled with lot's of uncertainty, whether it was marrying the love of my life who was from another country and all the extra complications and stresses that puts on a relationship, or taking redundancy from (the then) Wesley owen whom I'd worked for about 12 years, or whether it was moving flat to New Brighton to start with a church I'd never been to and area I'd never lived in; plenty of things have kept us both on our toes, and I'm sure we'll face these challenges together.

So, I'm in my last month of employment with a church and it feels a bit wierd. Unfortunately the job market is not brilliant at the moment, and doubly unfortunately, the bookshop market is even worse in terms of vacancies. Ah well...

Now that I've thoroughly depressed you if you're reading this, I'm leaving. I'm a bit of a git that way....

Reality & Perception

I don't what it is about me, whether it's because I'm an ex-fundamentalist, ex-conservative, or ex-whatever; more and more lately I've been finding that reality affects my perception. Things I've long believed I've been questioning because reality doesn't seem to quite match up with them, and so I question, and explore and investigate.

I've always held that 'beliefs' matter, but lately I've been discovering that 'trust' matters more. For me it's been a journey of moving from knowledge 'about' things to trust 'in' things. More of a case of conviction trumping certainty...

To be continued... (after food)